It is a big question, when can you find out the sex of the baby?
Here’s the scene, 20 weeks scan. I’m lying on the exam table in the ultrasound room, the sonographer poured the cold goopy gel smeared on my belly and asked:
“Do you want to know the sex of the baby?”….we both answered NO to this question…how did I end up there….
Rewind to a few weeks ago, it was a no-brainer for me to find out the sex, we could focus our name-deciding to just one gender. We could decorate the nursery in pink or blue, buy the relevant clothes…and most of all, bonding with baby and avoiding the “it”! To all my (sensible) arguments…he just replied ” I want the surprise, I don’t want to spoil it, it’s like opening Christmas presents before Christmas”
Actually, he had a solution to every problem:
– Names: well we will find a name for a girl or a boy
-Nursery decoration: we will move when a baby will have 6 months so don’t really need to decorate now, we leave it white…
-What about the clothes: Neutral!
My main issue was the willing of bonding with the baby before meeting him/her, I was afraid to create a strong connection between us by using”it”. To avoid the “it” we found quickly a nickname “pumpkin”, a nickname that everybody uses when we talk about the baby. And there are so many other ways to bond with baby during pregnancy.
After reflexion, I decided not to find out the sex…this is my
7 reasons not to find out the sex of the baby.
► 1) It really pisses people off
When are you due? closely followed by “do you know what you’re having?”….hum a baby!
We all know control freaks in our entourage, but this decision reveals the Type As, those who need much information as possible for themselves and for us! Some of them told us “it was really wrong to do it”, “it’s so ridiculous”. The best one, “How do I organize myself”?….as if we asked them to raise the baby instead of us….
You can literally see them getting uncomfortable…it is highly enjoyable!
► 2) Old wives tales
Carrying high, carrying low, eating sweet, eating sour. It’s quite interesting to hear the theories of everyone to determine the sex of the baby I am carrying. Which all seem to have been handed down by mothers, grandmothers or great-grandmothers…and of course, they are never wrong….well hopefully there is just 2 choices so they really have 50% to get it right…
►3) Why spoil one of life’s greatest surprise?
At work, there are two others pregnant women who are both expecting girls. Let’s be honest it’s a surprise no matter what, but I can’t stop thinking during this magical moment of a new life enter the world, they won’t have this extra feeling of finding out for the first time whether it’s a boy or a girl…In my opinion it one of life’s greatest and sweetest surprise. And then you get to announce it to friends and family who are dying to know !!!
► 4) Saving money
Coming back to my fellow pregnant colleagues, as soon as They knew the sex of their babies they bought cute dresses, tops…ect and every time they will stumble to something so cute and girly they can’t help themselves to buy it….can I blame them…not really, I would probably do the same thing!
The 2 main reasons:
Everybody warns me how not to buy a lot of clothes for an unborn baby as you don’t really know the size of the baby and you can end up with clothes that baby will never wear…Let’s be honest, buying neutral colored clothes is not fun and so you can be extra limited with choices but it means buying the essential and not blowing money but it also means you can use them on futures sons or daughters.
► 5) Sometimes they can get it wrong
Ultrasound scans are not 100% accurate, I actually know two friends who prepared mentally to have a baby girl, buying or receiving lots of cute girl clothes, painted a pink nursery and picked out a baby name and had the surprise of their life to find out the baby is a boy…
► 6) That Hollywood moment…. “It’s a…..”
How many times. have we seen this scene on TV, when the doctor placed the baby into the arms of the mother and reveals the sex of the baby.
Aden loves the idea of being able to tell me himself the sex of the baby, I guess it’s also a great way for him to have a role at the birth.
► 7) Extra motivation in the delivery room
Childbirth is a pretty painful and tiring experience. Some women claim that not knowing the sex of their baby give them extra strength to push harder because they are so motivated and excited to finally find out the sex of their baby…can be useful for that final tough push!
So many questions are left unanswered until you see your baby for the first time, but luckily for me, I looooove surprises and yes as every parent say as long as it’s healthy and it’s true. I thought that I could live without knowing but every time I go to see the midwife, the only thing that matters is to know that the baby is healthy.
Are you going to find out the sex of your baby?